Joy’s Story
I have had the opportunity to be a gestational surrogate on two occasions. It was a positive life experience. I feel I have played the roles of both pioneer and teacher. The many people that I encountered in my day to day life and learned I was a surrogate were most interested and had many questions. I enjoyed answering their questions and felt it was a way to “educate” people to the positive aspects of surrogacy as sometimes the media only portrays the negative side. Becoming a surrogate was something I had wanted to do for a long time, having felt so fortunate of being able to become pregnant and give birth I felt a great deal of empathy towards those who could not. It is not something to be entered into lightly. The decision requires a strong commitment and does affect the entire family.

I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to work with Dr. Angela Figueroa. Her expertise and experience helped me through the process of getting started on my journey. My husband and I immediately felt comfortable with her. Angela was always available to answer questions or provide advice even during the pregnancy. She is a great listener and has always been there for me.

In March of 2002, I gave birth via a C section to twin girls for a wonderful couple and then in March of 2004, after being matched with another great couple, I gave birth to a boy. During the course of each pregnancy in which both couples were very much involved we developed a strong long lasting friendship. We are still a part of each others lives. My own children and husband became very close with these families also. My children were never affected emotionally by me having to give up the babies. That was frequently a concern by many people as to how my children dealt with me being a surrogate.

My children honestly think that this is something that all mothers usually do for women who cannot have babies on their own.

The pregnancies and births were experiences that I will never forget.
It is a most fulfilling reward to be able to give a childless couple the opportunity to be called mommy and daddy.

- Joy

Chris Payne’s Story
I guess we chose surrogacy under different circumstances than most. Six years ago I was diagnosed with end stage renal disease, and would need a kidney transplant to lead a normal life. It is not an easy request to ask a loved one to donate a kidney, but luckily I didn’t have to ask as my father insisted that he be the one. Through all of this my husband and I had always hoped for a family, and while it didn’t look to good at the outset, once my transplant had taken I was given the okay to try and get pregnant. I did get pregnant and the pregnancy went well until the 32nd week when I became pre-enclamptic and required an early delivery to keep both the baby and me healthy. Our daughter was born pre-mature, but very robust and continued to develop beautifully. I, however, did not fare as well, and began to have kidney problems again. While we were thrilled to have a baby daughter it didn’t look as if I could have any more children. This saddened me because I had grown up with two sisters, and their friendship has meant the world to me.

My husband suggested that we consider a gestational surrogate since we could still conceive a child, but I couldn’t be the one to carry it. He came to the decision more easily than I did, as it I took me more than a year until I was ready to talk with potential surrogates. Since I had experienced childbirth before I knew what sort of emotional bond I was giving up, and it scared me a little to think that I would be putting my most precious possession in the hands of someone I just met. In the end I decided that the risk was worth it. To have another child meant more to me than the emotional strain it might cause. As I look back, this all seems absurd, considering the wonderful person who in the end brought our second child into the world.

Dr. Figueroa introduced us to Maria and her husband, and I immediately felt at ease with them. They were very down to earth, genuine people who appeared to have their hearts in the right place. We all agreed to work together and began the process of preparing for in vitro fertilization. We were very nervous until it was confirmed that Maria was pregnant, but even with that good news the road ahead was a little bumpy. Maria’s first few months were full of morning sickness and dehydration. It made us very uneasy to know that we had put her in this predicament. Maria was such a trooper and never complained, it was just part of life and she moved on. Maria’s husband and children were wonderful throughout her entire pregnancy. They provided support and understanding that allowed her to deal with the ups and downs as they came along. It was reassuring to know that she didn’t regret her decision and would deal with whatever happened. Of course, in the end she delivered a beautiful baby girl and we were all happy and relieved that everything had gone so well. Through this process I had gained more than a child, but a friend for life.

I have been blessed by two very dear people in my life - my father for donating a kidney and Maria for helping us create our family. They have both done things that go above and beyond what most people will do for each other. We felt it was only fitting that we honor Maria in some way, and thus we named our daughter Trinity Maria. Trinity - because it took three of us to create her, and Maria as a tribute to her generosity. We also felt that we should in some way mention our gratitude to Maria when we told the world about our new daughter, and thus Trinity’s birth announcement reflected her contribution as well.

Our experience has been such a positive one that I tell those that ask that if I couldn’t be the one to give birth to my daughter then I’m glad it was Maria.

Lisa’s Story
My husband and I met Joy and her family through Fertility Needs on March 3, 2003 and began our journey to become parents through gestational surrogacy. We became pregnant with one healthy baby on the first IVF transfer (coincidentally on my birthday - what a present!). During the pregnancy, our relationship with Joy and her family exceeded our expectations. We shared an open, caring relationship with an unspoken trust for each other. The bond that forms when someone is carrying your child is indescribable. Our two families enjoyed several outings together including trips to New York City, Boston and several overnight sleepovers at our house with her two kids. We also attended her doctor appointments and were able to fully experience the pregnancy through Joy, something that was very important to us since we were not able to carry a child on our own. On March 2, 2004, one year from the day we met, Joy delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy to his parents. We are overjoyed to finally have our own child. Our experience with surrogacy was such an amazing one that we are proud to share our story and perhaps help others become parents...

Tracy ‘s Story
Ever since I was a junior in high school, I wanted to be a surrogate. That is when I learned about surrogacy because a friend of mine did a project on it in Anatomy class. I knew that once my family was complete, I wanted to help someone else. I got married and had 2 beautiful children. My husband and I knew that our family was now complete so we discuss surrogacy.

I met with Angela in January of 2003; she was very nice and was sure she would be able to help me find a very nice couple to help. She was right because within a week, I was matched up with my perfect couple. We met at Angela¹s office in March of 2003 and we really hit it off. Angela went over with us all the various ³issues² we would come across to make sure we were all on the same page as to what we all expected and wanted to get out of a surrogacy relationship.

We went through all the medical screening and pre-testing that was necessary and was finished with all that by the middle of May. By the middle of June, I was starting fertility meds. The transfer was on July 17, 2003. I went in 12 days later for a pregnancy test. It was positive! The couple and I were very happy that it took on the first try.

For the most part, my pregnancy was uneventful. The biggest thing that happened was my couple and I became very close. We were talking to each other at least 2 times a week, sometimes for an hour or 2 at a time. Towards the end, things started to happen. My blood pressure was rising, and the baby was getting big! I was ordered to stop working by 36 weeks. That helped the blood pressure. We didn¹t think the baby¹s weight would end up leading to a C-section, but on March 27, 2004; my couple¹s baby girl came into this world via C-section weighing almost 9 lbs! We all cried tears of joy. It was a very emotional day and I will never forget it.

I saw the baby that was inside me for 9 months and it was just amazing! To see my couple holding their little girl that they waited so long to hold...well...I can only say that it was a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. Not once did I have any sad feelings or regrets, after all, it was never my baby. This beautiful perfect girl was created to be loved by my couple, not out of the love of my husband and me. Now that I am recovering from my first surrogacy journey, I feel so good about myself. I have always had low self-esteem, but giving someone the gift of a child made me feel so very important and has totally lifted my self worth. I know now that even if I never do anything else with my life, I made a difference in the life of another.

Maria’s Story
My name is Maria Burns. I have been married for ten years and have three children of our own. I come from a large family of 11 brothers and sisters and about 30 nephews and nieces. About six years ago, I became a foster parent and that is when I realized that giving birth does not make you a parent, being there for his/her first steps, waking up every two hours for feedings or because they are sick. Just being there to give them your undivided attention no matter how busy you seem to be, that is what makes a parent.

I have a few friends that were going through a rough time conceiving, so I talked it over with my husband that I would like to help a couple have a baby. He was really supportive about it. We gave up foster parenting about three years ago, and I did some research about surrogates. That is when I found Angela Figueroa and met a wonderful couple, Christine and Brad.

There was a lot of paperwork and tests to be done before we could proceed. But, once everything was in motion, we were forward with our first transfer attempt in February. We were all so nervous because there was only two embryos to transfer and then having to wait those ten days for a pregnancy test was torture for all of us involved. The wait was well worth it. Trinity Marie was born nine months later.

I was honored by the name they chose to give their daughter. Trinity - because it took three of us for Trinity to be born, and Trinity’s middle name, Maria. I was very surprised and honored when I heard her full name. It was so sweet of them to mention my name in their birth announcement. That was something I was not expecting at all.

I want to thank Christine and Brad for letting me be part of their special event in their life. It was well worth everything. When I saw Christine and Brad’s face when their daughter was born. When people ask me if I could ever do it again, I just think of Christine and Brad’s face and smile nodding my head, yes.

Being a surrogate was an amazing and rewarding experience, one I will never forget.

Susan and Stephen’s Story

Dear Angela:

Thank you from the heart for the important role you played in making our dream come true! Although we never gave up on our great desire to have a second child, the doctors told us that fulfilling our dream would take a good deal of patience, time, motivation and effort. When we located NESPA, Inc. and met you, our long journey became so much more pleasant and promising!

From the start, you treated us with a great deal of respect. You were highly professional; yet you were always willing to share your own personal stories with us and offer us a funny joke and a warm hug when we visited you. Your selection of egg donors was impressive. With your help, we located the perfect donor. We have maintained an anonymous yet very personable and meaningful relationship with our donor for the past year. You have facilitated our correspondence with our donor in a very reliable and expedient manner. Likewise, we know that we have found a wonderful friend in you.

Five months ago, the hospital called to tell us that we are expecting a baby. The joy we experienced and continue to experience is immeasurable. We are thrilled beyond words and feel very fortunate and blessed. In our opinion, no amount of effort was too great for the results that transpired. Our ten-year-old son is counting the days until his new baby sister arrives!

If it were not for you, Angela, we would not be experiencing this joy. We know that many other couples would dearly love to have a child, yet are unable to do so without assistance. We urge them to make the call and the visit to you that may very well change their lives forever. We made the call and we are so grateful that we did! Your rates are reasonable, your selection of donors is extensive, and your treatment of clients is top notch.

Thank you so much, Angela. We wish you continued health, happiness and success as you so selflessly serve the needs of others in their quest for fulfillment through the gift of children.

Sincerely,

Susan and Stephen

Nancy’s Story
A few years ago, a very good friend of mine experienced difficulty in getting pregnant. She and her husband began to search for a kind, giving woman willing to donate her eggs so that could have the family they always dreamed of. Although I was not a match for them, the more I learned about the process of egg donation, the more I wanted to be part of it and help other aspiring parents. I contacted Dr. Angela Figueroa and was introduced to Fertility Needs and the National Exchange for Egg Donation and Surrogacy (NEEDS).

The first step towards becoming a donor is completing the application. This is easily accessible on-line at www.fertilityneeds.com. Although the application requires time to complete, you will be greatly rewarded for your efforts when selected as a donor by a loving couple in need. Once I was selected, my cycle was synchronized with the aspiring mom’s. For several weeks, I administered injections and went to a local doctor’s office for blood work and ultrasounds until my eggs were ready to be retrieved. The retrieval process was relatively painless with a quick recovery.

Since my first selection, I have donated my eggs to five loving couples. One couple in particular has remained in contact and provides regular updates on the child they had with my eggs. Words cannot describe what a wonderful and precious gift this is. We have exchanged updated and photos, from the child’s first words to first steps. It is heartwarming and gratifying knowing I was able to assist this loving family in their quest to have children. Being an egg donor has truly been the most rewarding experience of my life.

Jim’s Story
One of the greatest trials of our life together has been our struggle through infertility. We endured what every infertile couple experiences: the hope of promise in the intense desire to have a child, and the bitter despair of failure; the joy and the agony of others’ children around us; the expectations and the reality of medical intervention through cost, physical suffering and many disappointments. After eight years of surgeries, intrauterine inseminations and other procedures including 13 homologous IVF cycles, it became clear to us the probability of conceiving a child with our own eggs was very low. It took a little time to absorb this fact about our present and future, while we considered our other options, adoption and egg donation. If we had to involve a third party, we still wanted to be involved as intimately as we could in the creation and development of the child. We wanted the child to share the genes of one of us, and to be born of us. Yet, because of the relative novelty of the practice of egg donation, we were concerned about some legal questions and medical and logistical difficulties it might present. During this time, we had the good fortune to learn about and meet Dr. Angela Figueroa, the founder and president of NEEDS. Dr. Figueroa offers a rare service to people like us, wishing for a child and daunted by the process of taking this step. She helped make the process sensible for us. Most importantly, she had done the hardest work already, advertised for and screened egg donor candidates whose generosity was so great they would offer a part of themselves to help others have a child. No one can choose the child he will have, but we found that we were able to choose an ideal egg donor within one year. The anonymous donor cycle was performed; we became pregnant and carried to term the baby who was born to us healthy and beautiful. The child continues to grow and thrive in our family.

Of course, we felt great joy after the baby’s birth. We also felt indescribable relief that the ordeal was over and that we finally felt complete as a family. We remain conscious, though, that our society has very little direct experience with the practice of egg donation. It has no medical precedent in the history of humanity. It has no exact legal precedent in our system of law. It is dissimilar to sperm donation in important ways because of the fundamental biological role of the birth mother. We are choosing to liken it more to a closed adoption (though it is still very different from that), trying to prepare for the day when, in our judgment, our child is ready to learn this fact about her conception, which is her right, and she might want to find out more about her maternal genetic heritage. Today, there is no information on the psychological impacts on the children of egg donation as they grow older. We accept this and are determined to do our best as any parents would do. It is our hope that other couples suffering infertility who read this brief summary of our story will also investigate for themselves, within and without themselves, the ethical, social and psychological issues that come from egg donation. We had our baby in this relatively unproven way, and, to be honest, we are unsure of our preparation for questions and matters about it that might yet have to be addressed. But we look at our baby, part of us, truly ours, loved and loving, and we are not afraid.